Insight

GRAY DIVORCES: When Older Parties Untie the Knot

In 1967, the Beatles asked: “Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m Sixty Four?” Today, Sir Paul, the answer increasingly is “No.”

Family Law - Divorce
Esther R. Donald

Esther R. Donald

November 22, 2016 12:00 AM

In 1967, the Beatles asked: “Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m Sixty Four?” Today, Sir Paul, the answer increasingly is “No.”

Divorce among older Americans has grown dramatically over the last decades. Trend spotters have dubbed these break-ups “Gray Divorces,” “Empty Nest Divorces,” or “Silver Separations.” According to a recent study published by the National Center for Family & Marriage Research, “the divorce rate among adults ages 50 and older doubled between 1990 and 2010.” You bet that’s true. The divorce lawyers in our Plano, Dallas and Austin offices can confirm the increase in “silver separations.”

Why are folks in this demographic divorcing in such record numbers? Many times, it’s simply because they can.

Sixty is the new fifty. People are living longer and healthier lives. If you find yourself in an unhappy marriage at age 55, it may be startling to realize that you could be living in that relationship for another 30 years or more. Divorce can be a path to positive change and increased contentment in your middle and later years. There is still life after gray divorce — and long life at that.

The Baby Boomers are in their 50s and 60s now, and many themselves are children of divorce. Divorce became socially acceptable during their lifetimes, losing the stigma it previously carried. Boomers have known divorced friends, family members and co-workers throughout their lives. They may have already divorced in their own younger years, and are now in a second or third marriage.

The changing role of women has also contributed to this trend of partners separating in midlife or beyond. More women now work in financially rewarding careers than ever before. With financial independence comes the ability to declare independence from a bad marriage, or from a partnership that has become stale and is no longer fulfilling.

Finally, the empty nest can be blamed for some percentage of gray divorces. We are living in a society where parents place children at the center of their lives and relationships. In many families with young and teenage children, evenings and weekends are solely devoted to soccer, dance, football, cheer, birthday parties, piano recitals and playoff games. After the children are grown, some couples find that they have grown apart, and have lost the one common bond that occupied much of their time and attention.

Not only are there specific patterns to explain this trend, there are also some unique factors that distinguish gray divorces. Certain issues repeatedly come up in divorces among this demographic.

• Retirement Assets: Couples divorcing later in life are often dividing sizeable retirement plans. The proper division of these valuable assets depends on careful analysis and drafting by a knowledgeable family divorce lawyer. Federal laws such as ERISA, survivor benefits, and the rights of a former spouse must all be considered. Gray divorces may also involve the sale of a marital residence, protection of separate property acquired by inheritance during the marriage, and issues of future health coverage if one spouse is not employed.

• Social Security: The state court that grants your divorce will not address social security or other federal benefits. Nonetheless, it is important to consider this topic when divorcing near retirement age. A divorced spouse may qualify to receive an amount equal to half of that earned by his/her former spouse, if the marriage exceeded 10 years, and the applicant for benefits is still unmarried and at least 62 years old. Oftentimes that figure will exceed the benefit available to the applicant based on his/her own earning history. You should review your options with the Social Security Administration if you think this rule might benefit you.

• Relationships with Children: It is hard to resist enlisting your grown children as confidantes, when dealing with the upheaval of divorce. Divorce counseling can help you avoid placing this emotional burden on your adult children, shielding them from being caught “in the middle.” It is not unusual for adult children of divorce to seek some counseling themselves when their family stability is shaken. If you are an “older parent” divorcing with teenagers still at home, counseling for those teens is also advised. Additionally, your divorce can address concerns specific to your family, such as who will pay for college, and what possession schedules work best for high school kids.

When faced with the inevitability of a later-in-life divorce, you may realize that it is too late to say, in the words of the Beatles, “We Can Work it Out.” In that event, you should consult competent counsel to protect your retirement income and assets, and your family relationships, in the most prudent and effective manner possible.

For more information, follow the source link below.

Related Articles

The Top 7 Things to Know Before Filing for Divorce


by Best Lawyers

Consulting with a qualified divorce attorney can help you understand your rights and obligations when filing for divorce. Here are 7 things you should know.

Two golden wedding bands with a crack down the middle

Announcing the 2022 Best Lawyers: Family Law Publication


by Best Lawyers

Featuring the top legal talent in Family Law and Trusts & Estates.

Announcing Best Lawyers Family Law 2022

Crossing the Line


by Joseph Trotti

Divorce can be difficult, complicated and emotionally exhausting. Divorcing across state lines ups the jurisdictional complexity significantly.

Jurisdiction and Divorce Across State Lines

Trouble at Home


by Brittney M. Miller and James J. Vedder

Decisions about custody and parenting time after a separation or divorce are never simple. Family violence of any kind makes the process all the more complex—and the victim isn’t always the beneficiary.

How Domestic Violence Complicates Custody

Catastrophic Personal Injury


by Best Lawyers

Trial legend Frank Branson finds success mixing technology and new skills with vast courtroom experience.

Catastrophic Personal Injury

New Year Ushers in New Formulas for Calculating Maintenance Payments in Divorce Proceedings


by Timothy E. Weiler

The anticipated outcome of the adoption of the increased income threshold is to reduce litigation about the amount of maintenance to be paid by simply applying the statutorily mandated calculation to more individuals with a much higher annual income.

Maintenance Payments

"Lawyer of the Year"


Woman in suit posing for headshot photo

Kenya S. Woodruff

Health Care Law

Dallas/Fort Worth, TX

2024

IN PARTNERSHIP

Should I Hire A Lawyer After A Houston Car Accident?


by Ryan Zehl

You should hire a lawyer after a Houston car accident for help proving liability, gathering evidence and pursuing insurance claims or lawsuits for compensation.

Yellow background with white car being viewed through magnifying glass

IN PARTNERSHIP

Should I Hire a Lawyer After a Car Accident in Galveston, TX?


by Alton Todd

Learn whether you should hire a lawyer after a car accident in Galveston, TX. Contact The Law Firm of Alton C. Todd Personal Injury Lawyers for a free consultation.

Yellow car crashing into the side of blue car

IN PARTNERSHIP

How to Protect Your Inheritance from Divorce in Ontario


by Usman Sadiq

One lawyer in Canada explains that, although division of assets does not always have to be evenly split, it should be fair, and inheritance is no exception.

Small grey house with red roof under large red umbrella on blue background

IN PARTNERSHIP

5 Benefits of Hiring an Attorney After a Car Accident in Texas


by Alton C. Todd

A personal injury lawyer can protect your rights and advocate for compensation. Read to learn about the benefits of hiring a lawyer after a Texas car accident.

White car crashed into dark purple car with heavy damage

IN PARTNERSHIP

Cryptocurrency and Divorce


by Crystal Espinosa Buit

One lawyer explains how cryptocurrency, the fastest growing investment form, can impact assets in a divorce and why it should not be ignored in divorce proceedings.

Pixelated image of paper money bill

IN PARTNERSHIP

The Parenting Plan


by Derren Ciaglia

Co-parenting considerations should always be taken into account when negotiating Parenting Plans in divorce or paternity matters.

Woman in car looking through window at man hugging child

Divorce in Florida


by Hugo E. Acebo

A Florida family law lawyer highlights the important steps each party should take when facing the complexities of divorce, particularly when faced with decisions surrounding the children.

Painting of father walking with two children

IN PARTNERSHIP

How to File for Divorce


by Natalie R. Rowland

Divorce can be complex in both process and cost. An experienced family law attorney explains how best to file for divorce and outlines considerations to take.

Image of bride and groom on beach with a split down the middle

Five Tips for Business Owners Facing Divorce


by Brittany A. Brown

When married couples have entered into joint business ventures find themselves facing divorce, it is important that they heed these five steps to ensure amicable resolution.

People standing in opposite circles forming Venn diagram

Trending Articles

2025 Best Lawyers Awards Announced: Honoring Outstanding Legal Professionals Across the U.S.


by Jennifer Verta

Introducing the 31st edition of The Best Lawyers in America and the fifth edition of Best Lawyers: Ones to Watch in America.

Digital map of the United States illuminated by numerous bright lights

Unveiling the 2025 Best Lawyers Awards Canada: Celebrating Legal Excellence


by Jennifer Verta

Presenting the 19th edition of The Best Lawyers in Canada and the 4th edition of Best Lawyers: Ones to Watch in Canada.

Digital map of Canadathis on illuminated by numerous bright lights

Legal Distinction on Display: 15th Edition of The Best Lawyers in France™


by Best Lawyers

The industry’s best lawyers and firms working in France are revealed in the newly released, comprehensive the 15th Edition of The Best Lawyers in France™.

French flag in front of country's outline

Presenting the 2025 Best Lawyers Editions in Chile, Colombia, Peru and Puerto Rico


by Jennifer Verta

Celebrating top legal professionals in South America and the Caribbean.

Flags of Puerto Rico, Chile, Colombia, and Peru, representing countries featured in the Best Lawyers

Announcing the 13th Edition of Best Lawyers Rankings in the United Kingdom


by Best Lawyers

Best Lawyers is proud to announce the newest edition of legal rankings in the United Kingdom, marking the 13th consecutive edition of awards in the country.

British flag in front of country's outline

Unveiling the 2025 Best Lawyers Editions in Brazil, Mexico, Portugal and South Africa


by Jennifer Verta

Best Lawyers celebrates the finest in law, reaffirming its commitment to the global legal community.

Flags of Brazil, Mexico, Portugal and South Africa, representing countries featured in the Best Lawy

Prop 36 California 2024: California’s Path to Stricter Sentencing and Criminal Justice Reform


by Jennifer Verta

Explore how Prop 36 could shape California's sentencing laws and justice reform.

Illustrated Hands Breaking Chains Against a Bright Red Background

Announcing the 16th Edition of the Best Lawyers in Germany Rankings


by Best Lawyers

Best Lawyers announces the 16th edition of The Best Lawyers in Germany™, featuring a unique set of rankings that highlights Germany's top legal talent.

German flag in front of country's outline

Celebrating Excellence in Law: 11th Edition of Best Lawyers in Italy™


by Best Lawyers

Best Lawyers announces the 11th edition of The Best Lawyers in Italy™, which features an elite list of awards showcasing Italy's current legal talent.

Italian flag in front of country's outline

Combating Nuclear Verdicts: Empirically Supported Strategies to Deflate the Effects of Anchoring Bias


by Sloan L. Abernathy

Sometimes a verdict can be the difference between amicability and nuclear level developments. But what is anchoring bias and how can strategy combat this?

Lawyer speaking in courtroom with crowd and judge in the foreground

Tampa Appeals Court ‘Sends Clear Message,” Ensuring School Tax Referendum Stays on Ballot


by Gregory Sirico

Hillsborough County's tax referendum is back on the 2024 ballot, promising $177 million for schools and empowering residents to decide the future of education.

Graduation cap in air surrounded by pencils and money

Things to Do Before a Car Accident Happens to You


by Ellie Shaffer

In a car accident, certain things are beyond the point of no return, while some are well within an individual's control. Here's how to stay legally prepared.

Car dashcam recording street ahead

The Push and Pitfalls of New York’s Attempt to Expand Wrongful Death Recovery


by Elizabeth M. Midgley and V. Christopher Potenza

The New York State Legislature recently went about updating certain wrongful death provisions and how they can be carried out in the future. Here's the latest.

Red tape blocking off a section of street

Find the Best Lawyers for Your Needs


by Jennifer Verta

Discover how Best Lawyers simplifies the attorney search process.

A focused woman with dark hair wearing a green top and beige blazer, working on a tablet in a dimly

Key Developments and Trends in U.S. Commercial Litigation


by Justin Smulison

Whether it's multibillion-dollar water cleanliness verdicts or college athletes vying for the right to compensation, the state of litigation remains strong.

Basketball sits in front of stacks of money

Is Premises Liability the Same as Negligence?


by Jeremy Wilson and Taylor Rodney Marks

In today's age, we are always on the move, often inhabiting spaces we don't own. But what happens when someone else's property injures you or someone you know?

A pair of silhouetted legs falling down a hole with yellow background